When a Russian woman is genuinely seeking a husband, she does not want to feel like she is being bought. While men may pay to use the international dating service, the women do not want to feel as though they are being purchased as part of the matchmaking process. Who wants to feel like a piece of meat for sale to the highest bidder? Russian women are independent and will flinch at being treated like property.

A better term to use than mail order Russian bride is “Russian dating service” or “matchmaking service.” This updated terminology implies that the decision is mutual and based upon choice. Although people will continue to use the expression “mail order Russian bride” and not mean any harm by it, it is good to be thoughtful about using the right terminology.

MSN’s Encarta dictionary refers to the term as offensive, but does not elaborate as to why. An additional investigation into the term would show that it is considered distasteful because of its implications about men looking for mail order brides. Men who would “order” a bride are seen as desperate, while men who meet women through a dating service are go-getters. There is a subtle difference.

What do you think – can the expression be used without insulting anyone?